Assistant minister to the prime minister Patrick Gorman’s staff are continuing their tradition of long subject lines in their transcript releases, which dictate the vibe of how they’d like you to view the transcript. Today’s:

Subjects: The Albanese Government is back to Parliament for 2025, packing Australia’s lunch box with nutritious policies; Peter Dutton’s ‘lunch tax write-offs for bosses’ policy will cost Australian taxpayers $1.6 billion on their bosses’ long lunches, movie tickets, footy tickets and rounds of golf.

‘Possum’ (his middle name and how he is known in Labor caucus) managed to keep the lunch theme going:

Our government packs the nation’s lunch box full of nutritious policies. Full of nutritious policies like fibre broadband, making sure that you’ve got the fibre you need to get the work done that you need to get done. We make sure we pack the nation’s lunch box for those who are hungry to learn with be Fee-Free TAFE, and we make sure that for those who’ve got a little bit too much HECS debt, that we cut the crusts off. Because we know that we can do more to support families across Australia and support those who want to learn.

And then he stretches it further than a roll up in the hands of a prep student with:

And then – what’s in Peter Dutton’s lunch box? What was his big idea to bring back to Parliament for 2025? We had nine weeks off. Nine weeks, and all that Peter Dutton could find was an absolute stinker of a policy, like a lunch box that had been left in the bottom of a bag since Term 4, 2024. Mr. Dutton’s ‘lunch tax write-offs for bosses’ policy absolutely stinks. Why would you give people tax write-offs for movie tickets, footy tickets, golf games, Wagyu beef? Why is Mr. Dutton’s only idea that he’s had over the last nine weeks to give us an absolute stinker of a policy?

There were no questions, apparently.