Having addressed the ridiculous idea that the Chinese navy might somehow cut the Sydney-Perth underwater cable, let’s look at the cables connecting Australia with the rest of the world, for which Dutton and various commentators breathlessly ring alarm bells.

 If an adversary does decide to cut a cable, the most stupid way to do so would be to cut it right on Australia’s doorstep, rather than doing sabotage at a safe distance, somewhere along the thousands of kilometres’ length of one such cable. (You’d think as a former police detective, Dutton would be attuned to how criminals’ think.)

It would be difficult for Australia to defend the full lengths of all these cables in any case – and you can’t do worse in attempting to protect them by planning for only 6 to 8 incredibly expensive submarines, which may or may not arrive by mid-century. And are we all suppose to forget that Australia would still have satellite communications in the unlikely event of losing ALL of its communication cables?